Engineer or Career Criminal?

I think these are the future career options for Angry Toddler.

Seriously, this kid is very smart and figures out how things work easily. Last year, we got a new carseat, a Britax Marathon. Well, there’s a flap on the front on the front of the carseat. The flap covers a metal mechanism which ables you to loosen the chest straps and/or make them tighter. He figured out how to reach forward, and un-velcro it within a week of getting the carseat. So he was able to loosen the straps and get out of the seat. I promptly used some industrial thread and sewed the flap down.

Well about two weeks ago, Angry Toddler figured out how to completely removed the cover while he was strapped in, so he can reach the metal lever to release himself once again. I’ve tried everything and there’s no way I can secure the cover to make it safe. So I am going to go shop for another carseat today. Angry Husband did not believe me that Angry Toddler was doing this again. Well he saw it first hand last night. I can’t drive around with AT doing this, it’s not safe.

Here is a picture of how the carseat looked after I dropped him off at preschool this morning. This happened during a 5 minute car ride.

This is not the first time, we’ve had to deal with the Little Evil Genius. We’ve had to Angry Toddler Proof anything. I went around our house and took some pictures of how we’ve had to make “improvements” in our security.

Let’s start with the kitchen/dining room area:

We had to tie the chairs to the dining room table. He would take the chairs and move them around the house. He would use them to climb into things and over the baby gates. He would also pull them up to our salt water fish tank so he could dumb things into the tank. Not a good thing. Angry Husband used some rope and tied all four chairs to the base of the kitchen table.

Next would be the baby gates for the actual kitchen entrances. There is a fixed one in the hallway. We had to put a screw in it, to permanently keep it closed. Angry Toddler figured out how to open it. The main kitchen entrance one is secured closed with a black zip tie. Angry Toddler knows how to open it and we had to secure it closed with the zip tie. Now we have to hop over it to get into the kitchen. When Angry Toddler is not home, we cut off the zip tie and leave it open.



He also figured out how to open door locks. He knew how to unlock the access door between the garage and the house. We caught him one day. He unlocked both locks and went into the garage. He then figured out how to pop the garage door open.

We had to mount the garage door button higher. Angry Husband also had to flip the locks on the access door. There is now a keyed lock on the inside of the house. We put the key on a hook way above the door so that Angry Toddler cannot reach it. It’s a real pain in the butt, but at least he can’t get out.

Office:

We have a gate across the office also. He loves to get into our computer equipment. We used to have a screw holding the gate closed permanently. We took the screw out because he hasn’t realized that the screw is gone.

And one of my favorite pictures of all time. Angry Toddler “breaking into” the bathroom. We used to lock all the interior doors in our house. This was before he was potty trained. Now that he’s trained, we leave the doors open. But he found a screwdriver one day, and used it to unlock the door.

9 comments
wendell hamilton
wendell hamilton

Does he run unsupervised through the house, or what? I have 3 kids and from my experience, it's better to supervise and correct than to try to "childproof" the house. Where does your toddler get a screwdriver?! I'm sure my kids would have done the same things if I allowed it to happen. This just gets a big WTF from me.

Tamara
Tamara

I read this post the other day and was laughing my ass off!!! Seriously the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. I can picture Austin like this.. He is already a handful.

morewineplease
morewineplease

you do have a genius!! talk about keeping you on your toes!!! MY WORD!!Good luck!

The Mrs.
The Mrs.

That kid is crafty as hell!!! Genius!

Caffeine Court
Caffeine Court

The picture with the screwdriver is CLASSIC. Now THAT is determination!!! I love it.

Lee-Ann
Lee-Ann

OMG those are so funny! I'm going to vote the engineer route for you. :o)

Stella
Stella

this is only the stuff off the top of her head! The kid is an evil genius!

Courtney
Courtney

The chairs tied to the table is the funniest thing ever. Isn't amazing how kids can ruin your home decor?

Amy Amy Bo Bamey
Amy Amy Bo Bamey

OMG that picture of the chairs tied to the table base is soooo funny. Also the picture of him with the screwdriver LOL I think you got a handful over there.